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"The Moon Morons" was origionally a work of mine from long ago (grade three?) I was very verbose.
By Neil Edelman
It was a splendid spring morning when Pob went to inquire of his Mom about him possessing a high powered chain saw. "Well, I could get you one if you endure a nap," said the mother whose name is obscure so we'll call her &qout;THE MOM.". So Pob did the logical thing, he went to take a nap. While he was napping, the dreaded "Moon-Morons" stealthily poised their U.F.O. on his roof. The oblivious Pob was meanwhile being zapped by their tractor beam. Up off his bed, into the fireplace and up the chimney and into their GB-19-5ooPBT-KTX-559 model No. 85.6 Spacecraft. Bizzzzz! FLOP! They retract their large green landing apparatus.
The "Moon-Morons" tranquilly glide through ostensibly immeasurable space (ed. this is my favourate line) at warp 85,000,000,000. (TIME PASSES . . . ). The lethargic commander Zignaplov and his imprudent assistant set the spacecraft on cruise-control, incognizant that it does not regulate direction, just velocity.
The commander whacked the nourishment dispenser button, and moon-taffy oozed from an egress in the ceiling. (Multitudinous plops afterward) the commander and his untrustworthy subordinate were immersed in the repulsive stuff and their movements were encumbered as the mucilaginous goo got higher and higher.
They did not have any uneasiness about the direction of the craft for they had much confidence in the cruise-control. Little do they know that they are on a direct collision course with the "Moronic Moon Headquarters". Pob instantaneously takes advantage of the predicament by depressing the eject button instants before the craft detonates when rapidly contacting with the station.
As Pob slowly drifts down to the red ground of the other side of the moon, the "Moon Morons" espy him descending from the sky and spring into action. Soon Pob sees that the Moon Morons are in hot pursuit. But the awkward clumsy creatures are pathetic and slow and Pob soon escapes. After some time Pob senses a deficiency of nourishment in his stomach. Pob searched for nearly an hour and still found no food, until suddenly he espied a bag of "moon-corn". While he was consuming his nutritious constituent, a moronic-moon-guard distinguished him with his hyper-infra-red amplifying detector.
Pob notices that the enemy has detected him. He quickly tries to escape, but he is surrounded. He reacts by jumping into a spacecraft. The "Moon-Morons" lethargically alert "Moon-Fleet". While they speak, Pob takes advantage of the instant to get a head start on the Moon-Morons.
He lifts off, but a "Moon-Moron" is soon in hot pursuit and a raging dogfight begins. Pob commences evasive maneuvering: He banked left, flipped upside-down then yanking back on the yolk performed an inverted loop. He flipped upright and locked on, he pulled the trigger, "zap!" a deadly ray of laser light blasts across the sky reducing the enemy to a state of plasma. OH-NO! "Moon-Fleet" has deployed a huge multitude of fighters that are coming his way! Pob suddenly executes a flawless knife edge turn. Spinning he fires a bolt of amplified light and destroys one fighter. Since the fighters were so close together the explosion caused a chain reaction and many fighters were destroyed. One of the fighters fired, but Pob performed an instant dive and the "moronic-death-ray" barely missed. Pob pulled up and fired, one less enemy vehicle! Then in an inverted turn maneuver he fooled the Moon-Morons but no! Out of fuel! And Pob plummets down to the ground. Is this the end? No, seconds before impact Pob ejects: WEE!
On the ground Pob sees that he is beside a heavily guarded building. "I wonder what's in there?&qout; Pob thought to himself. While Pob was thinking nearby "Moon-Moron" tuned his head. Pob dove into a crater in a perfect parabola, but he wasn't fast enough. Soon many "Moon-Morons" are after him. Pob dashes away, but. . . NO! The giant slimy creatures are on "ROCKET BOARDS!": PUT PUT PUT. . . And Pob is soon captured and escorted to an immense tower wondering what sort of splash the tower would make if it fell into the nearby lake. The next day at 12:00 Pob hatched a bold plan.
Pob went to a guard and pointing at his feet he said "Your shoes are untied". "Shoes? What are shoes?" Pob zips off as the "Moronic Moon Guard" is looking at his feet in a daze still trying to figure out what shoes are. Soon Pob hears a low hum that seems to be getting closer to him by the instant. "Oh-oh!" Pob thinks, that must be the "Moronic Moon Police" looking for me.
Pob gets into a GB-19-5ooPBT-KTX-559 model No. 85.8 Spacecraft. He must act quickly so he can escape without the "Moon-Morons" noticing, but little does he know: They already have. BIZZ-Flop. He retracts his landing gear and sets course for Earth. Whoosh: Warp 85,000,000,000.002.
"UH OH!" Say's Pob, "The Moon Morons are in hot pursuit." (TIME PASSES. . .) (again). BAM! CRASH! BOOM! Pob crashes beside his house what a miracle. . . BOOM! The Moon-Morons come right behind. They HIT the house just as "THE MOM" accidentally turns on the chain saw she got for Pob. RUM-WUM, and turns them into "Moronic Moon Nuggets" (yum!).
And everybody (except the Rottweillers (ed. I had these next door, and they were extremely annoying) next door which Pob terrorized weekends with his newly acquired chain saw) lived happily ever after.
The End
From http://neil.chaosnet.org/documents/old-comics/moonmoron/.
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